What Reels May Come (before I fall asleep…)-By-Ranjona Banerjee

As anyone who “scrolls” knows however, there are reels for everything. Including how to stop scrolling, how to get your fingers back, how to blow smoke up your…, how to regrow your brain, how to sleep, how not to sleep, how to eat, what not to eat, what to wear, what not to wear. What to wear when you’re 30, 70, 370. All of it. — Internet

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Sleep, fingers, brain. Or maybe brain, fingers, sleep. Or the random order that I chose. Anyone one of those can be fatal. Lethal. Deadly

I cannot tell a lie and pretend to be superior. I do watch reels on that social media site. Obviously not the banned one: Gosh no, I would never do that. I don’t even have a subscription to one of those virtual private… shh. But the other one owned by some evil tech billionaire or the other, the one which allows little clips from the banned site, I watch that. Every night before I sleep, I have to get my little dopamine fix. I now realise that every do-gooder well-wisher will tell me how bad this is for me. My fingers will fall off, my brain will decompose and I’ll destroy my whole sleeping pattern. I’ve put those in no particular order because I’m not sure which is the worst. Although am sure someone will have a perfectly concocted theory on that as well.

I am rooting for, in order of importance: Sleep, fingers, brain. Or maybe brain, fingers, sleep.

Or the random order that I chose. Anyone one of those can be fatal. Lethal. Deadly.

As anyone who “scrolls” knows however, there are reels for everything. Including how to stop scrolling, how to get your fingers back, how to blow smoke up your…, how to regrow your brain, how to sleep, how not to sleep, how to eat, what not to eat, what to wear, what not to wear. What to wear when you’re 30, 70, 370. All of it.

How to exercise, how not to exercise. Who to believe. Who not to believe. What celebs look like. What they should look like. What you should look like. Who’s trying to enter your life through our phone. How to save yourself. What suitcase to take to a foreign country. Don’t laugh. This is big. Very important. I have even noticed a link to what I suspect is a whole article on what baggage to carry on holiday, probably inspired by the popularity of these little 30-second recordings.

And then, since you’re travelling: Where to go, how to go where you want to go, what to eat, how to eat what you want to eat, on and on and on. Then there’s the backlash tourist reel: How to expect to be treated in my country, that country, some other country if you are a pesky unwelcome tourist.

Sometimes I find myself particularly drawn to videos of babies and infants being cute. This you can blame on my age. Long-nailed overly made-up little women tapping things to buy, which they’ve got for free, or using some expression-less — and yet at the same time breathless — voice to tell you how to make some horrible-looking healthy meal, these do not appeal.
You know what I mean — “influencers”. But then I wonder about the future of these little children, who do not know they are being made famous. And eventually, as you watch them, they start endorsing products. Which means another form of exploitation by greedy parents. And the massive commercial machine has managed to gobble everything in its path.

I fear the damage done will be far worse than whatever happens to my fingers. Because the collective brain of humanity is being fogged. And by us, willingly if unwittingly.

And instructed, permanently instructed. Don’t say this, do that, feel the other thing. The problem is that the directions contradict each other depending on who’s issuing them. Wellness-conscious and health-filled people want us to be happy; regressive people want us to listen to them because they know how we should feel, aware people want us to listen to them because they know how we ought to feel. And free will people want to be how they want to be. Contrarian annoyances, clearly.

There’s a coffee shop somewhere which won’t let you in unless you’re smiling. I hear the “positivity at any cost” brigade cheering. So wonderful. A smile is what this terrible world needs. So sweet and affirming, ‘gratituding’ and whatever else is the trendy word right now. So what if this constant need to be happy can have a deleterious effect on what you’re actually feeling? The loss of a loved one for instance does not really lead to happiness in many people. But they may still want a cup of coffee.

Do they deserve it, if they cannot paste a meaningless mouth-stretch on their sad faces on demand? One of the bitter lessons of growing older is discovering that freedom gets increasingly restricted just when you thought it was heading your way. The reels are full of generational conflict, usually funny. Though I guess humour depends on which side of the camera you’re on. From where I’m sitting, age makes things a lot funnier than they might seem to younger people. Can you see my smug smile? Good.

I meant you too, as you wallow in your age-appropriate confusion. It is how it is. However, to get back to where I started. There are some advantages to these reels. In order; music, science, history, art, political activism and comedy. Not all of these help you to sleep easy. And those pesky algorithms are ready to take you down any number of rabbit holes.

So you learn to avoid the important “advice” about some green healthy “natural” gunk you have to eat, put on your face, apply to your walls or whatever the latest craze is. Don’t take offence at the colour I chose, even though I respect your right to be permanently offended especially if you’re a well-meaning younger person full of the milk of human sentimentality and sanctimonious.

I respect that right as well. It’s just that I could well have written yellow, orange, heliotrope. Please don’t worry too much about me. You may have gathered that I’m not a very sweet type of a person. Instead of offering any gratuitous advice which I will not take, you could just take bets on which finger will fall off first, how much wrist surgery will cost me and how soon my brain will atrophy. And most importantly, will I ever be able to fall asleep at whatever is the correct time these days to fall asleep. Do let me know. Or rather, don’t.

Ranjona Banerji is a senior Indian journalist and commentator with over four decades of experience in the field. She is known for her insightful commentary on politics, media, and social trends.